Sickness & Solitude

Friday, 27/02/2009

So this weekend is the group trip to Tangier; I’m at home in my bedroom in Rabat. I chose not to go on the trip since I’ve been sick all week. I went to my Arabic class on Monday morning, then didn’t go back to school until yesterday (Thursday). I basically caught whatever “cold” was going around the study-abroad group, in addition to struggling with my asthma. I probably was susceptible of catching the virus since I already had been on anti-biotics and steroids for my asthma, leaving my immune system weak. I’ve seen the lung specialist twice here now. Although I had been using my new nebulizer already, when I went to the clinic this past Monday, he gave me a breathing treatment and a corticosteroid injection. He also wrote me 4 Rxs for various medications. I haven’t picked them up though because I’m broke, and my parents just mailed me the rest of my medications, costing about $300. I hate to keep asking them for money for medical expenses & whatnot... Granted, healthcare over here is much cheaper than in the States. The difference though is that a patient has to pay up front in cash & thensubmit the claim to the insurance to get reimbursed later... so it’s been somewhat frustrating with that...

I don’t want to continue to get behind on my work, so I figure a weekend of rest (& catching up on schoolwork) is best for me. AMIDEAST is happy with my decision too as I would have been at risk since the group is traveling to other cities, besides Tangier... There would not be any medical clinics available, should something happen to me, while traveling through the country/mountains. The weather in Tangier/the mountains was supposed to be cold & raining throughout the weekend, and I definitely don’t need to add anything else to my illness. Luckily, I’m starting to feel “shwiya” (a little) better today...finally! haha

Anyway, it’s funny because I feel like I’m living in some sort of a vortex here or something. I’ve totally lost concept of time, particularly for those back in the States. For instance, Ash Wednesday occurred this week, which means it’s Lent already. I did not find this out until that day (luckily I found this outbefore I ate any meat on Wednesday). SInce I was sick though, I was unable to search out a Church to get ashes. I think this is the first time in my life that I did not receive ashes. Apparently there are a couple Catholic churches in Rabat; I hopefully will begin to go this Sunday. It means a lot to me to try to maintain my religious perspective here; although I definitely have become more open to Islam than I thought I would be. I like that people here are religious. I like that God or Allah something common in everyday conversation. There’s such a separation of Church & state in America, that I think it almost makes people feel ashamed to mention God so “no one is offended.” Yet here, one cannot even greet another without mentioning “hem-do’Allah” (thanks be to Allah) for the encounter. Even when departing from another, the typical response to “a bientot” (“see you later,” en Francais) is “in-cha’Allah” (God-willing). It just inspires me to witness people’s openness of spirituality here without any qualms to do so. This is why I feel motivated to practice my own religion here. I’ve found that, although as each religious faith thinks that theirs is the superior/Singular faith, people here generally are respectful toward others’ beliefs. If anything, Moroccans are delighted to see the outward faith of other believers. I almost feel more “proud” to be a Catholic here than in the States, because I feel a mutual respect here between Islam and myself as a Christian. I sometimes wish others could be more open to various religious faiths and beliefs, because in the end, we’re ALL part of one humanity.

OK, I think that is it for today...I’ve mentioned 2 of the 3 things “never” to talk about: money, religion, & politics (I already mentioned politics in a previous blog). Yet I think that it’s not so much about what one should not discuss, it’s a problem of ignorance (defined as a lack of knowledge or information...not to be defined as “rude”) and openness toward the “other.” Perhaps blogs like these can open up some minds and perspectives toward acceptance of various cultures, beliefs, and traditions. If not, that’s OK too... after all, there is nothing to lose...only insight to gain.

Culture Shock

My first few bouts of culture shock occurred Valentine's Day weekend. 

It started when I plugged in my nebulizer and it fried because of the voltage difference. AMIDEAST first sent me to a doctor (who only spoke French and Arabic). She simply listened to my chest and said to keep taking my medicine. She also gave me a card of where she “thought” I could purchase a new nebulizer. Her thoughts were incorrect. On that Friday I made an appointment with the lung-specialist. I never thought I’d be so happy to hear the words “lung specialist” and “speaks English” as much as I did. Getting there was a bit tricky as no one from AMIDEAST went with me. Granted, I’d like to think I’m becoming well-seasoned with the taxis in Morocco, but this drive was somewhat stressful. I told the driver the street and all of a sudden, he stopped and said, “safi?” (enough?). We were at the end of the street; I didn’t even know we were on the street because it was on a different side of town! SO I told him the number of the building and he had to drive the whole way around again, which cost me an additional 10 dirhams (dh). The only problem with this of course was I had borrowed $200 dh for the appointment from Diana and only had enough change for the cab (the 1st time around). The fact that I was 30 mins late for the appointment didn’t help either. I called the doctor’s office to say that I’d be late and my lack of French/Arabic clashed with the receptionist’s lack of English. When she put the doctor on the phone, he said, “I don’t speak English.” Since I was fed up with the last doctor not being helpful to me because of the language barrier, I shouted, “what?? You’re speaking English now!” He said, “I know, but I only know a little.” I was thinking, ugh, not again.... I also thought, what's an asthmatic to do in Morocco besides go to the hospital?? People here do have asthma &/or allergies, right?? lol It was the 1st time I misses having the "luxury" of US healthcare....

Anyway, I got there OK, called & vented to my friend Hannah, then saw the doctor. He didn’t speak much English, but luckily, asthmatic terminology is keef-keef (the same). At first, as I was still flustered, I said that I just needed to know where to buy a nebulizer. He made a call for me and gave me the address to a local medical supply store. After hearing that I had pneumomediastinum in November, he insisted on checking my lungs with his stethoscope. He then wrote me a Rx for the equivalent of Prednisone & another for a personal nebulizer. He said that he will work on his English for me, should I have to return. He must have liked me (or felt sympathy for me) since I was $10 dh short of the $200 dh (because of the cab) when I had to pay for the visit afterward. I said my khem-do’Allahs (“thanks be to Allah”) like none-other after I left. Of course, I had to navigate my way home as I didn’t have money for a cab. 

I stayed at Hannah’s that night- we chilled with her host family, ate couscous, and watched Aladdin. It was great! My 1st sleepover in Morocco...& we watched Aladdin! hahaha Talk about cliche! I definitely saw the movie in a totally different context since I’m in Morocco. I love how Disney movies are just as much for adults (with particular references) as for children. 

The next day was Valentine’s day and I felt bad because I “stood up” (more or less) my Moroccan friend Azdine several times throughout the day. Hannah and I overslept  & I ignored all of Azdine’s calls because I was so tired (even though I originally had got up at 8:30 AM, and as no one else was yet awake, I went back to sleep). Azdine wanted me to travel to Casablanca with him & his friends. Since I didn’t get to do that, I said I’d meet up with him in the evening...but that didn’t happen either. lol 

Hannah & I had this “plan” to get our hair done, go out to dinner with the rest of the AMIDEAST crew, and then go out either to a party with some other students or to a club...

This is where my 2nd bout with culture shock occurred:

In a nutshell, the ATM ate my debit card. The irony is that my mom had just deposited money into my account the night before for my medicine & whatnot; since the bank was closed, I couldn’t go inside to try and retrieve my card. This seriously upset me mostly because no one around me understood me when I tried to tell them that my card was stuck in the machine. Hannah & my host-sister Lilia were with me when I “lost it.” Lilia even translated to all of the people in line that the ATM was broken, but one lady in particular had to try to jam her card into the ATM to figure it out herself. Meanwhile, I gave into impatience & had a "mini-fit" in the streets. I knew people were watching (& therefore knew I was American), but I didn't care.  When I went back inside to my apartment, my host Dad said I could get my card from the bank Monday morning.. but that if I didn't get there early enough, the bank would send it to Casablanca... I thought, great, just what I wanted to hear.

Looking back at these incidents a couple weeks later, I realize things weren't as bad as they seemed. I'm seeing the lung specialist regularly; I also got my debit card back. :) 

I actually feel like this trip is changing me in so many ways, I can’t explain it. I find that with each trip abroad I learn more about myself- internally and, of course, culturally. I’m not sure what I want to do after my "graduation" in May, but I think I must travel (if I can afford it). This trip is helping me to see the “other” as I’ve never seen before. So much so that the line differentiating me from the “other” is diminishing.... how cool is that?